Quantum of Solace trailer

Indiana Jones teaser trailer

Does anyone else wish it was May 22nd right now? From the first beats of the theme music, I swear I got tingles. I'm sure it'll be kind of lame, and Shea LaBeouf is kind of a douchenozzle, but I'll still go see it in the theatres. Harrison Ford doing his own stunts still, and wearing his awesome fedora, AND the reappearance of Marion from Raiders is just too good to pass up.

27 Dresses

I went to see 27 Dresses last night. Yep, the romantic comedy starring that bitch from Grey's Autopsy and the hotness that is James Marsden.

The story is ridiculously predictable, as Skank Cancer plays Jane, a woman who's been a bridesmaid 27 times over. She's organised, reliable and, surprise!, in love with her boss (Ed Burns), who turns around and falls for her sister, Tess (Malin Akerman). Predictably, it falls to Jane to plan the wedding, all the while being harassed by Kevin (James Marsden), a journalist who wishes to break out of the wedding section and write real stories. Predictably, Jane and Kevin hook up, then there's an obstacle and then, what do you think, it ends with the standard big kiss at the end.

While I enjoy most romantic comedies (I admit that I liked both Just Like Heaven and Just My Luck, which are probably two of the worst I have seen in recent memory), I felt like I was losing precious brain cells by the second while watching this piece of crap. I'm not kidding. I know that people exaggerate using the "I lost brain cells" thing, but I swear I really did. I didn't grasp the concept of the credits, that's how dumb this movie made me. The best part about it was the audience, a majority of girls between the ages of about 18 to 35, who sighed and "awwwed" at the appropriate moments en masse, and one girl even shouted "YES!" after Katherine Heigl punched some guy. Personally, I would have done the same if someone had punched Katherine Heigl. While she annoyed me a tad in Knocked Up as the somewhat uptight A-personality woman, she was really testing me in this little number. I think I spent half the movie rolling my eyes at her doormat-ish ways and constant whining.And yes, I think I am considerably dumber from seeing it. Do not suffer the same fate, especially if you need that precious brain matter to, I don't know, launch a full-scale attack on the AMPTP offices to end this damn writer's strike so we don't have to suffer through shit like 27 Dresses.

Speed Racer Trailer, and other news...

I wouldn't normally subject others to an unwanted drug trip, but I feel as if the damage done to my brain should be shared. The trailer for the newest Wachowski brothers' flick Speed Racer... yes, *that* Speed Racer:

I love Emile Hirsch (if you want to know how much, look at the Into the Wild review), I love Matthew Fox, I enjoy John Goodman and Susan Sarandon... but this? This movie just looks like the biggest piece of shit ever made. It truly does.

And if things couldn't be any worse for the movies these days, the fucktards behind the Sex and the City movie have decided to make it into a goddamn trilogy. Trilogy. Of Sex and the City. Three movies with Sarah Jessica Parker. The movie industry hates me. This fact is supported by the horrible news that Wes Anderson (he of The Royal Tenenbaums, A Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou and other movies about dysfunctional families accompanied by quirky soundtracks) is helming an adaptation of Roald Dahl's The Fantastic Mr. Fox. I... no... this... bad... mary... upset... no words... screaming.... forgive me while I use all caps for a moment, but REALLY COME ON NOW. WES ANDERSON YOU ARE ON MY SHIT LIST IF THIS MOVIE SUCKS. At least it's going to be an animated film. BUT, take a gander as to who's voicing the aforementioned "fantastic" Mr. Fox... George Clooney. GEORGE. FUCKING. CLOONEY.

Can't... process... childhood memories... ruined...

No Country For Old Men

No Country For Old Men is based on the novel by Cormac McCarthy, and stars Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem and Tommy Lee Jones as three men whose lives become intertwined by a drug deal gone bad. The film opens with the arrest of Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem), which results in him ruthlessly murdering his arresting officer and stealing the police car. This opening scene reveals that Chigurh is a cold-blooded killer with no remorse, and his method of killing: a cattle gun. The focus then turns to Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin), who, while hunting in the desert, stumbles upon several dead men, a stash of heroin, a dying man desperate for water, and two million dollars. Moss takes the money back to his trailer, then, feeling guilty about the dying man, returns to the desert with water. However, once there, he's ambushed by the drug dealers and chased through the desert. He puts his wife on a bus and promises to join her once everything has been resolved. The rest of the movie follows the cat-and-mouse hunt between Chigurh and Moss, and Sherriff Bell's (Tommy Lee Jones) attempt to catch up.

I haven't been a huge fan of the other Coen brothers' films I've seen, other than O Brother Where Art Thou?. I thought Raising Arizona was slightly ridiculous, but I feel as if I should give both Fargo and The Big Lebowski another chance, seeing as I saw both when I was either tired or just disinterested in seeing a movie at all. I haven't seen many movies that have caused me to sit tensely throughout the duration, biting my fingernails in anticipation, but No Country For Old Men now has that distinction. From the chase scene through the desert to the numerous scenes in motels with Chigurh relentlessly tracking Moss to the "conclusion" of the film (if you've seen it, you'll know what I mean), this film plays havoc with your nerves, in the best possible way.

The performances by all three main leads are fantastic. Considering the last movie I saw Josh Brolin in was Planet Terror, he does a great job with the desperate yet resilient Moss, and Tommy Lee Jones seems effortless in his portrayal of the weary sherriff. But it's Javier Bardem's performance that is the most memorable. Chigurh will most likely be remembered as one of the most frightening villains in cinematic history, with his lack of remorse, his relentless pursuit of his victims and his violent forms of murder. Considering that these men never actually interact face-to-face within the span of the film, the audience gets the sense that their lives will forever be intertwined.

The most interesting facet of this film is the lack of music. As most critics and fans of the Coen brothers' movies have noticed, the Coens put an emphasis on the soundtracks of their projects, almost to the point where the music plays a central role in the film. No Country For Old Men features little music except for a brief scene in Mexico. The lack of music allows for a more tense atmosphere, as the audience hears every rustle of the wind, every bark or phone ring in the distance, and every creak of the floorboards. The combination of this lack of music and the cinematography, which drinks in every vast landscape and grisly streets of Texas and Mexico, results in a visually stimulating and terrifying film that I would recommend to fans of suspense and Coen brothers' films.

Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian Trailer

The trailer for the new Chronicles of Narnia movie (due out in May) has reached the interwebs, so here it is for anyone who's interested:


Considering they've got Liam Neeson back, plus the addition of the actor who played Young Dunstan in Stardust and Warwick Davis, this movie can't be anything but as good as the original. Granted, the story seems a bit stupid from the trailer, but it's a fantasy movie. How often do you see absolutely great plots from fantasy movies?

Trailer overload

I was shocked to find that there are two Hayden Christensen movies coming out soon, both of which look pretty stupid, but judge for yourself:

Jumper


Awake


and the newest trailer for I Am Legend, starring Will Smith, which looks half-decent (although the book is dead depressing yet fantastic):

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

The original Elizabeth movie, released in 1998, dealt with Elizabeth's succession to the throne. Elizabeth: The Golden Age continues the storyline, as Mary Queen of Scots (Samantha Morton) is imprisoned at Carlisle (although it could have been Loch Leven, I don't think it was ever stated), and Elizabeth is being pressured to find a husband. Enter in Sir Walter Raleigh (Clive Owen), back from the Americas and full of idealism and rogueishness. He's all open doublets and heated stares, and the Queen gets sucked into his stories about his travels. Meanwhile, the Spanish are concocting a plan to spring Mary from prison and overthrow Elizabeth. Cue usual romantic scenes with Queen and Raleigh, drama with one of her ladies-in-waiting (Abbie Cornish), numerous scenes of the Spanish king practically drumming his fingertips together and going "eeeeeeeeexcellente mua hahahahaha!", etc etc.

I still haven't seen the original movie, but I doubt it can be as boring as its sequel. The battle scene at the end was, in my opinion, the only thing that saved it from being a complete waste of time. Cate Blanchett was, again, a perfect choice as Elizabeth, and she had the right amount of wit and regalness to stand out from the rest of the cast. I'm being unfair; Geoffrey Rush was great as well. Clive Owen was just ridiculous. I refuse to believe that Walter Raleigh paraded about in outfits suited more for an Elizabethan comedy than a dramatic historical epic (or so they wished us to believe). Personally, I would have loved to have seen a bit more of Samantha Morton as Mary Queen of Scots. I don't know who exactly was responsible for casting her, but well done. She was the perfect choice.

All in all, the only movie to depict the battle with the Spanish Armada (almost) in its entirety is kind of a stinker.

Iron Man Trailer

Iron Man looks surprisingly entertaining, and Robert Downey Jr. is pretty cool (he's brilliant in Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang). And they use Black Sabbath in the trailer, so there's a good bet the movie won't be complete crap.

Becoming Jane

I literally dragged my mother to this movie when I was back home in August, and she ended up liking it more than I did. That's not to say I didn't enjoy looking at James McAvoy, but that's pretty much the only part of the movie I liked.

Becoming Jane is basically the life story of Jane Austen (Anne Hathaway), 19th century author of the original "chick lit" books (this is coming from someone who loves Pride and Prejudice, Emma, Mansfield Park, etc., but come on, when it boils down to it, they are chick lit). Jane's family has very little money and, like the characters in her books, need the daughters to marry rich in order to survive. Enter in Tom Lefroy (James McAvoy), who Jane initially hates, but, predictably, falls in love with and they have to overcome obstacles of family objections and previous obligations in order to be together.

It's a boring and predictable movie, and it really annoyed me that they decided to cast Anne Hathaway as the most influential female British author of the modern period. I had a beef with the casting of Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Bennet, but jesus, at least she's BRITISH. *Deep breaths*, regardless, the plot is too much like Pride and Prejudice, and I know that's not exactly the writers' fault, seeing as it's her life and all, but it's a little soon after the Keira Knightley movie. Another complaint I have with this movie is the fact that they really only mention Pride and Prejudice. I understand that it is probably her most famous work, but at least mention her other novels. The only positive thing I can say about this movie is the fact that the supporting cast around Anne Hathaway were fantastic. James McAvoy is a great actor, and I think he's going to become one of the most sought-after leading men in the business, if he isn't already. He's already proved he can do bit roles (Wimbledon), fantasy (Chronicles of Narnia), drama (Last King of Scotland) and comedy (Starter for 10), and now he's proven he can be a romantic lead. Julie Walters and James Cromwell are great as Jane's parents, and Maggie Smith is obviously fantastic as the disapproving mother of a possible match for Jane.

Overall though, I wouldn't watch this again.

Since I'm way behind on reviewing movies I've seen in the past 3 months, I figured I'd combine them all in one post:

The Simpsons

Basically the movie is all about Homer screwing over the town, again, and finding a way to somehow resolve things by the end. It feels like an hour and a half long episode, and I mean that in the best possible way. And, like the majority of Simpsons episodes, the movie starts off with a certain plot, then evolves into something completely different. In this case, Lisa is campaigning to keep the Springfield pond clean, and the town votes to erect a wall around the pond. Homer, of course, decides to break through the wall and dump a homemade silo full of pig droppings in the water. The Powers That Be, after seeing how polluted Springfield has become, decides to isolate the town in a gigantic bubble.

Due to the fact that they revealed almost nothing about the plot in the trailers (except for the Spiderpig part, which was still hilarious), the movie doesn't noticeably lag. It's funny, familiar and worth seeing.

Stardust

Based on the novel by Neil Gaiman, Stardust follows Tristan Thorn (Charlie Cox) as he struggles to win over his "true love" Victoria (Sienna Miller) by finding her a fallen star. The town in which he lives, Wall, England, is surrounded by, obviously a wall, that seperates the real world from the fantastical land of Stormhold. When Tristan sets off to find the fallen star, he travels into Stormhold and finds Yvaine (Claire Danes), whom he soon discovers is the star. After a rocky start, they set off, unaware that they are being followed by the witch Lamia (Michelle Pfeiffer), who wants Yvaine's heart to stay young and the princes Primus (Jason Flemyng) and Septimus (Mark Strong), who are both after the necklace Yvaine has around her neck.

With the added bonus of casting Ricky Gervais, Peter O'Toole and Robert DeNiro, the cast is recognizably strong. The plot is fairly straightforward and the end is predictable, but it's an entertaining journey along the way, as Tristan and Yvaine run into various characters who teach them various things (a notable scene/montage is with Robert DeNiro as he teaches Yvaine how to waltz and Tristan how to duel). In short, I loved this movie. I loved it to pieces. I cannot wait until it is out on DVD.

Superbad

If you've seen either The 40 Year-Old Virgin or Knocked Up, you've already seen Superbad. Essentially the premise is Seth (Jonah Hill) and Evan (Michael Cera) plan to hook up with the two girls they have crushes on at a graduation party. Similar to other movies about high school, the majority of the film takes place over one day. As they search for a way to get booze for the party (thus allowing Seth to impress the girl he likes), they get their friend Fogell arrested (although he ends up partying with the two cops, played by Seth Rogen and Bill Hader), almost get beat up a party and get into a fight.

It's a predictable movie, but it has it's hilarious moments, most notably the scenes with the two cops, who think Fogell's name is McLovin, the name on his fake ID. Since it's a movie about two guys wanting to lose their virginities, it's raunchy, with a lot of sex jokes and bad language, but there are scenes less adult in it as well, as Evan gets stuck having to sing for some coked-up guys at a party (with Bill from "Freaks and Geeks"!) and the cops having to chase the kids down at one point. I wouldn't say it's as funny as Knocked Up, but it's definately funny.

Juno Trailer

Hailed as the movie that brings Michael and George Michael Bluth back together on the big screen, Juno stars Nova Scotian actress Ellen Page as a girl who gets impregnated by her best friend (Michael Cera) and decides to give the baby up to a couple who can't have children (Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner). It looks like a fantastically funny movie and I can't wait for it to hit theatres:

Into the Wild

I realise I haven't updated in about a month and a half, which means I am the worst blogger in the world, but no one really reads this anyway, so my care factor is pretty low.

For once, I've actually managed to get ahead of the game and see a movie two weeks before it gets released to the public. My mother and I were lucky enough to get free passes to see Into the Wild last week and, seeing as it was free and I'm rather fond of Emile Hirsch, we decided to go.

Directed by Sean Penn and based on the novel by Jon Krakauer, the story follows Christopher McCandless, played by Emile Hirsch, a recent graduate who donates all his savings to charity and takes off into the country in pursuit of his final goal: to live in the wild in Alaska. Along the way, he meets various people (Catherine Keener, Vince Vaughn, Kristen Stewart, Hal Holbrook) who feed him and often provide him with objects he probably should have procured before heading to Alaska in the first place. If you've read the book, or heard about McCandless' story at all, you know how it ends. And it really can't end any other way. But the journey to the end is entertaining, amusing and fairly touching.

Although the story drags a bit in the middle, the film is visually stimulating enough to distract from the lagging storyline. Sweeping shots of the Alaskan tundra, sunsets in the midwest and even just shots of McCandless sitting on the bus he finds or a broken sofa make the movie, and the story, as fascinating as McCandless himself. The soundtrack also adds to the feel of the film, as it's mostly just a man and his guitar. Surprisingly, Eddie Vedder does the entire soundtrack, and I've never really enjoyed Pearl Jam all that much, but I love this soundtrack. The guitar is fantastic, and it's even better when put in the context of the film.

There are very few critics who are bashing this movie at the moment, and I don't think that will change much once it's released on October 5th. It's a great story, with great music and incredible acting, and probably one of the best I've seen in a while.

So here's the trailer:

Trailers

I've seen a bunch of trailers lately for films that look entertaining, both in the "great film" sort of way and in the "hilariously funny" sort of way. So here are a few:

Superbad (August 17th)

3:10 to Yuma (September 7th)

Cloverfield/1-18-08 (January 18th)

Transformers

Premise: Robots lose cube that can make planets, the bad ones figure out it's on earth and land here, the good ones follow in order to protect the human race. Bad robots disguise themselves as tanks, police cars, black hawk helicopters, stealth jets, while the good robots disguise themselves as 18-wheelers, piece of shit camaros, and trucks. Enter nerdy human descendent (Shia Labeouf) of old guy who had glasses with the cube's location imprinted on them. Enter girl (Megan Fox) who nerdy guy wishes to impress, so he buys a car which ends up being an autobot. Resulting battle between good and evil robots ensues.

Outcome: Pretty damn awesome. This is a Michael Bay film, so you really can't expect anything but dawn and dusk shots with lens flare, tons of explosions and really stupid one-liners.

If you ever watched "Tranformers" the cartoon on TV as a kid, the human actors are only props used to further the paperthin storyline. It's all about the robots. What makes it even better is the fact that Michael Bay and the rest of his team managed to get the original voice of Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen). They even replicated the sound of the robots transforming from the TV show, which was just more icing on the cake. I don't remember the cartoon too much, but the introduction of the rest of the Decepticons later in the movie brought a lot of it back. You can't forget names like Bonecrusher, Starscream and Barricade. Like I said, you don't go to Michael Bay movies for plot, you either go for the eyecandy or for the mindboggling effects. Transformers doesn't disappoint with the CGI. The only thing I disliked were the cheesy lines given to Optimus Prime. Was he always that philosophic and corny? Prime example: Ironhide asks Optimus why they're protecting the humans since they're a violent, destructive race, to which Optimus replies "Were we so different?", sparking a laughing fit from Maggie and I that lasted about 10 minutes.

Ultimately, it's pretty much a movie for 15 year old boys and fans of the cartoon (don't try to tell me they can be one and the same, seeing as the show ended back in 1987, and the reruns were off TV by the time I was halfway through elementary school). Even if you're not in either of those groups, you can still appreciate the action, and the utter kickass quality of the CGI. It's not a great film, and it's not going to win any noteworthy awards, but it's great summer fun. Definately worth seeing.

Sicko

Like a lot of people out there, I've gotten slightly tired of Michael Moore. I enjoyed Bowling for Columbine, and I found some of Fahrenheit 9/11 to be interesting, but let's face it, we all knew Bush was an idiot from the get-go. So I was somewhat hesitant to see Sicko, just because I wasn't sure I could stand hearing Moore's nasaly voice for two hours.

I'm glad I went to see it though. It's one of his best, simply because it is the most emotionally engaging of his films. As the film is all about health insurance and the struggle in the United States for affordable healthcare, he interviews men and women who have had problems with the healthcare system, mainly because of either their lack of insurance, or the insurance company's refusal to cover specific health problems. Hearing each of these people talk about how they had to choose one finger over another to sew back on after a saw accident, or how their daughter died because a hospital wouldn't provide transportation to the hospital associated with their insurance company is heartbreaking. It shocked me to hear how many people in the United States are without health insurance, and how insurance companies treat those who do. It's disgusting. It really showed me how much we take medicare for granted. And Moore travels up to Canada to basically balk at the fact that we have universal healthcare. I have to say I'm a little sick of him crossing the border and painting Canada as this beautific place with free hospitals and no gun violence. We have our problems too.

He also travels to Britain, France and Cuba in order to make Americans fully understand how completely backward and detrimental the US healthcare system is for their country. As per usual, he makes quippy jokes and grandstanding gestures (ie trying to get some Americans into the Guantanamo Base for treatment), and the music he chooses is fantastically appropriate. Unlike Fahrenheit 9/11, Sicko actually made me like Michael Moore again. Sure, he's biased in pretty much everything he does, but who isn't? Most "documentaries" are biased, whether they're about the September 11th attacks (read: anti-Bush administration), the climate change debate (read: anti-Bush administration plus change-your-lightbulbs-and-buy-hybrids) or even the environment (read: don't kill living things, they're cool and so is David Attenborough). You're either going to agree with that bias, or leave thinking the director was a complete idiot and deserves every bit of criticism he gets. I don't think that applies here though. Everyone has to recieve medical treatment at some point, hell the only time I've been to the emerg to get treated was to get 3 stitches when I fell off my bike when I was 8, and the idea that you might not be able to get those stitches, or that shot, or that life-saving chemotherapy is a scary thing.

Regardless of how you feel about Michael Moore, no one can deny that his message is fairly valid: Healthcare should be available to everyone. One of the men he interviews, Tony Benn sums it up perfectly with "If we can find money to kill people, you can find money to help people."

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

I realise I haven't posted any reviews in about a month and a half, and that's not due to not having seen any movies recently, I've just been ripping through books instead of films lately.

That said, here's some month-late musings on Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix:

Given that I saw this at a midnight showing, I may be a little hazy on some of the details. I do know, however, that this is my favourite of the movies so far (the previous one being Prisoner of Azkaban). Regardless of what others say, I thought the fourth movie was weak, but I disliked the fourth book as well (thought Harry was too whiny for most of it), so I may have been biased from the get go. The fifth book, I think, showed a marked improvement by J.K. Rowling in both writing style and character developement, as the kids are forced to grow up quickly in the face of the coming threat of Voldemort. Personally, I think the movie reflects that.

Most people have already read the book, or seen the movie, so I won't go into too much detail with the plot. Harry, Ron and Hermione are in their fifth year at Hogwarts, and the movie begins with the trio, plus the other Weasleys, Sirius Black and various other characters in the Black household, otherwise known as the headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. Harry finds out that the Order knows that Voldemort is trying to look for a weapon, but they won't tell him what it is. With that in the back of his mind, the trio return to school to find that a) everyone thinks Harry is nuts, and b) puberty sucks. As per usual, there's yet another Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Umbridge (Imelda Staunton), who turns out to be a conniving witch with a lust for power.

Her numerous changes to school policy result in Harry forming a group meant to teach real defensive spells, in order to protect themselves against Voldemort and his cronies. Meanwhile, Harry catches the eye of one of his fellow students, Cho, and they share an extremely awkward-to-watch kiss shown in most of the trailers. Blah blah blah, things happen, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville and Luna end up in the Ministry of Magic and a battle ensues. Honestly, I would go into more detail, but there's no point, is there?

The point is, the movie is great. Granted, they left out some of my favourite bits from the book (the swamp left in the corridor, the cleaning out of Grimmauld Place, and the Quidditch matches that lead to the "Weasley is our King" chants). I understand not being able to fit everything into a 2 and a half hour movie, but those were the little things I missed. This is more of a fault for the fourth movie, but where are Bill and Charlie? I mean, Bill turns out to be a relatively big character in the sixth and seventh books, so shouldn't they have looked ahead and tried to include him? I guess it means another two guys having to dye their hair red, but it's a small price to pay. I have to say, I'm impressed with how much the actors have improved. Daniel Radcliffe was actually convincing in most of his scenes and Rupert Grint is turning out to be quite good. I'm still not sold on Emma Watson... she seems to have the same expression for every emotion, which isn't too impressive.

Great movie though. Unlike the fourth one, which I still haven't purchased on DVD, I can't wait for this one to come out so I can snatch it up right away.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Now that I've seen the 168 minute long third installment of Pirates of the Caribbean, I can safely say that I hope to God and all his minions that this is the end. The Jack Sparrow schtick is getting old, and I for one am sick to death of it. Granted, the first film was great, seeing as it brought new interest to the somewhat-ignored area of Pirate Movies. Jack Sparrow was the bumbling pirate who always seemed to be three sheets to the wind, and Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley were still relatively new faces in Hollywood. The second film was just... unneccesary... especially with the inclusion of Barbossa at the end. I left the theatre scratching my head, wondering "didn't he die in the first one??" and disappointed with the contrived Jack/Elizabeth plotline, which did nothing for the movie except make me dislike both characters. The only redeeming features of the second movie were the visual effects, Bill Nighy as Davey Jones, and the fact that Jack Davenport had a beard. Which is not saying much.

So, with that in mind, you can see where I'm going with this review. The visual effects were still fantastic, and Bill Nighy was still great, complete with tentacley face. Jack Davenport apparently shaved his beard, and thus lost a little something, but he was really the only character I was interested in. Actually, the monkey was the only great character in the entire thing. Anyway, on to the plot. Like the Knocked Up review, I'm writing this a few weeks after seeing it, so I'm a little fuzzy on the details. I'm pretty sure it opened with Will, Elizabeth, Barbossa and their posse of pirates going to Singapore (or maybe Shanghai? I don't know) to propose teaming up with Chow Yun Fat, who says no and tries to kill them. Obviously, they escape, and sail around trying to find Jack, who's been sent to Davey Jones' locker. At this point, the scene changes to focus on Johnny Depp, who's apparently had an acid trip... either that or my M&Ms were laced with LSD because, for no apparent reason, there are about 40 Jack Sparrows wandering around. Needless to say, it's out of the blue and completely fucked up. Regardless, he meets up with the posse and they manage to escape Davey Jones' locker. The plot kind of unravels at this point (not that there was much of one in the first place), and this is only about 30 minutes into the movie. Somehow Elizabeth gets captured by Chow Yun Fat and his dudes, and Will gets trapped on Davey Jones' boat, but they all find each other and a huge naval battle ensues.

Of course, Keith Richards makes an appearance, and there's a needless meeting between all the pirate lords, who disappear at one point, even though there are like 8 of them, plus all their cronies. The ending is disappointing, open-ended and nauseating. I didn't bother to stay until the end of the credits, because I just wanted to get the hell out of there, but apparently there's a little scene at the end alluding to possibly another movie. To that I say, HELL NO. You could not drag me to see another goddamn Pirates of the Caribbean movie. What really disappoints me is just how greedy studios have become. Movies that were great by themselves and as such, big box office hits, have been needlessly turned into trilogies (Shrek, Pirates, The Matrix), and it just shows a complete lack of originality in Hollywood these days.

Knocked Up

This review is long overdue...

Anything that has Seth Rogen in it is usually a good laugh, considering he's been in the short-lived, but hilarious "Freaks and Geeks", the short-lived, but also thought-to-be-hilarious "Undeclared", and The 40 Year-Old Virgin, but add in "Freaks and Geeks" alums Jason Segel, Martin Starr, and Leslie Mann, throw in Paul Rudd and Alan Tudyk, and you've got a recipe for something that TV and movie nerds everywhere will love. Or just nerds.

The premise is fairly obvious from the trailers: Guy meets girl, they have a one-night stand, girl gets pregnant, guy and girl try to work it out. It's a pretty standard storyline. I wasn't convinced that this was going to be as funny as I expected, but it actually surpassed my expectations. Seth Rogen, thankfully, keeps his character from becoming another one of those useless schlubs who somehow get the girl in the end, and the relationship between the two main characters is actually believable, complete with weird friends and numerous fights (including a really funny fight in the examining room at the doctor's office). Paul Rudd is as hilarious as he always is... anyone who's seen Wet Hot American Summer can attest to the fact that this guy can play comedy like no one else. There's a scene akin to the "you know how I know you're gay?" scene in The 40 Year-Old Virgin, but it's not so similar that you feel as if they lost interest in the writing.

In a sense, the end of the film is pretty predictable, but what movie isn't these days? Most of the time, if you've seen the original film (due to the enormous number of remakes), or read the book (due to the number of book-to-film), or seen the first film (again, gross number of sequels), you can pretty much predict the ending to any movie nowadays. Luckily, it doesn't really matter that you know what will happen in Knocked Up, because the trip to the conclusion is just so incredibly enjoyable. I swear, there were parts where I literally thought I was going to choke I was laughing so hard. I think I may have actually found this funnier than 40 Year-Old Virgin, just because the jokes were a little less immature. In short, it's definately worth a look.

Rescue Dawn trailer

The premise for Rescue Dawn is as follows: "Dieter Dengler was a fighter pilot who was gunned down and captured during the Vietnam war; he then staged a remarkable break-out from the camp in which he was interned. RESCUE DAWN finds Christian Bale playing Dengler in this adaptation of his life, while famed and controversial filmmaker Werner Herzog directs."

Now, I'm a huge fan of prison escape movies (with the except of Papillion, dear *God* it just never ended!), and the plot of this movie is right up my alley, considering how much I enjoyed studying the Vietnam War. But the premise of this film just pisses me off. First of all, the trailer starts with the requisite "secret mission into Laos", then the predictable plane crash in enemy territory and the resulting POW status. That's fine. What pisses me off is the overwhelming theme of RAH RAH America in this trailer. I hope to God the movie is slightly different, because if they paint Laotians as violent warmongering animals, I am going to be livid. Believe me, I have a whole rant lined up if this turns out to be how it appears from the trailer: