King Arthur (old review)

King Arthur

Saw King Arthur last night with Shel.

For the first twenty minutes or so, I didn't find much about it that I liked. I thought the focus on Lancelot at the beginning was extremely unnecessary, since the movie is called King ARTHUR. Sheesh. I also *hated* the fact that they passed Merlin off as an evil magician who fought Arthur and his knights (though this is probably due to the fact that I've been reading Mary Stewart's Crystal Cave series...) The only aspects of the film that I enjoyed in the first half an hour were the cinematography and the music.
It picked up after the knights go out on their "deadly" mission to rescue some stupid Roman kid, who, once he's back behind Hadrian's Wall, promptly disappears from the script (though he manages, in his short screen time, to mention to Arthur that his mentor was murdered *whoops*). Guinevere's discovered during this rescue mission and, *gasp*, turns out she's a... er... one of Merlin's henchmen, er, women, er, people... yeah, one of Merlin's henchpeople, meaning she can shoot a wicked bow and arrow and she wears crappy body paint that makes her look like some kind of native art. But I digress... by the end, I was sitting there going "okaaay... music good, Clive Owen good, sexual tension good, Arthur's knights good... " etc etc.
Speaking of Arthur's knights... Holy Mother of God and All Creation, were they good-lookin'. Of course, they kill off one of my favourites, the bastards, Tristan (ie, the one with the eagle and that Arthur is always telling to "Ride ahead"). He was KICK ASS. Kind of attractive, talented, smart, mysterious... *sigh*. Course, Hugh Dancy as Galahad totally rocked too. He was just enough innocence to pass off being "Galahad the Chaste". Gawain was also hot. I realised where I recognise that actor from too. He's the unfortunate young "Uncle Owen" in the latest travesty known as "Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of the Clones". He looks better with long dreadlocks. Lancelot is a story of his own. NOT hot. Sorry chiquitas, but his hair reminded me of one of the wigs on some Muppets character. Plus, he was too broody and he argued with Arthur a lot... and it pissed me off that the movie started with him... stupid. AND he's a total PERV, looking in on Guinevere when she was washing... sicko. Ioan Gruffald, my ass. Give me Star Wars dude *anytime*. wink wink.
So, all in all, it's a pretty good film. But Keira Knightley was really shafted with the part of Guinevere... though she *did* get to have a hot make-out scene with Clive Owen... *stares into space thoughtfully* It wasn't *really* what I expected it to be, which is good, because it exceeded my expectations. Go see it. GO SEE IT NOW.

The Notebook (old review)

The Notebook

Went to see The Notebook yesterday with Shel and here is what I think of it:

It starts out kind of crappy, since the beginning credits seem to take forever and the ducks seem quite computer-generated. Even the sunset looks kind of fake. And then it goes into the conventional voice-over of an old guy who claims he's "nothing special", when it's clear by the end of the movie that he is (or at least that's what you're supposed to think).

Anyway, then it goes back in time to go over this couple's summer romance. It's the typical "he's a poor country boy and she's a rich city girl". It's very sappy, but I couldn't help but feel that most of their conversations, even if just at the beginning, seemed realistic. There's a conversation between the two of them (Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams) on the street and both of them seem really nervous.
Then, of course, her parents bascially forbid them to see each other because he's "trash, trash, trash!!" and they blubber away. Then she goes home and, seven years later, *gasp*, gets engaged to someone who ISN'T RYAN GOSLING! that tramp. Meanwhile, he's joined the army and fought in the war, where he loses his best friend right in front of his eyes (though they don't bother to go into the certain emotional trauma he would have experienced because of this). He goes home and decides to rebuild a house in a vain attempt to draw Rachel McAdams back to him (must be the constant drinking that makes him think this). But, wait a second!, who's that in the driveway?? oh, how utterly cliche.
I don't care. I still loved it. It was predictable, sappy and most people in the theatre were bawling by the end of it. It's worth going to see simply for Ryan Gosling...

I was impressed by both Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams' acting. I already knew he was a good actor, but I was surprised by her, since the only movie I had seen her in was Mean Girls, which isn't exactly the most intellectually challenging movie.

I enjoyed it, even though the ending was incredibly stupid, simply because it was a chick flick, and every so often, you need a great chick flick to reassure you that you're not going to be alone forever and that you *can* get Ryan Gosling if you try hard enough... bwa hahaha

The Day After Tomorrow (old review)

The Day After Tomorrow

Saw The Day After Tomorrow last night... it was pretty good actually. It was everything I expected it to be and the animation was really good. Plus, you can't help but love a director that destroys American National landmarks not once, not twice, but THREE times. That's right, this director made Independence Day, which blew up the White House. He also made Godzilla, which, again, destroyed New York city in numerous ways.
Here's the breakdown for you:
It starts with a little wind, then progresses to a whole lot of tornados, climaxes with a few big hurricanes and ends with a disgusting amount of cheese.
It's a cool movie though, I'd recommend it to anyone who needs something to do on a rainy day.

Troy (old review)

Troy

Yeah, went to see Troy on Saturday afternoon with Jacq, Jeffrey, Lauren and Shel. I have to say that it wasn't *that* bad for the kind of movie it is. For those of us who have read The Iliad, it was rather inaccurate.
Here are the pros and cons:

Pros:

• Amazing CGI


• Detailed costumes and scenery


• Peter O'Toole rocks as Priam and Eric Bana is an excellent Hector


• Nice man candy in Eric Bana, Sean Bean and Orlando Bloom (and please don't try to convince me that Brad Pitt belongs here too.. I am not a fan and Troy just reinforced that)


• There is a cool little allusion to Virgil's Aeneid near the end... if you've read it, you'll know what I mean
  

Cons:

• Not even freakin filmed in Greece, they cheaped out and filmed in Mexico (jaysus, even Gladiator shot inside the Colisseum)


• Speaking of Gladiator, there were many aspects of Troy that ripped off the fine Oscar-winning film... so much so that Jeff kept whispering "Roman Victor!!!"


• Dear Wolfgang, the Trojan war lasted 10 years according to The Iliad, not 17 DAYS... idiot


• Dear Wolfgang, don't try to redeem Achilles at the end by throwing in a pointless romance... sheesh... besides, rumour has it that Achilles and his cousin Patroclus were lovers *gasp*
  

I know that sounds like a LOT of complaining, but I usually hate movies that are based on books... at least, movies that are based on legends. I mean, come on, if they're historical texts that you read in school, or are in Mr. Leitch's infamous "canon", then you shouldn't fuck with it too much. My BIGGEST complaint with Troy was the time thing... Petersen could have snuck in somewhere that the war was longer than Brad Pitt's interest in some temple chick. Even if there was a small note between two scenes saying "9 Years of War and Troy still did not fall" or SOMETHING...
Anyhoo, yeah, well, I WOULD recommend this movie just for the entertainment value... and the eye candy (bwa hahaha)...