Brokeback Mountain

Brokeback Mountain

Ah, Brokeback Mountain. Why are you getting so much praise? Is it because you really are a great movie with an equally great story? No. Is it because the great acting overcomes the overall shittiness of the script? No. Is it because you're about a couple of gay cowboys during the 1960s, a story which hasn't been done yet? Most likely.

I don't want to overexaggerate, but this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. None of the actors in this hackneyed piece of crap should have signed on to be in it. I have lost respect for both Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal for acting in this. My opinion of Michelle Williams, however, has improved, seeing as she was the only one who actually displayed any emotion or talent during the almost 3 hour marathon crapfest. Although, I do think Anne Hathaway did a good job with a role that was unlike anything she's done before. Kudos.

Firstly, Heath, man, when you're in a movie, there's something called pronounciation. You know how you do this? You open your GODDAMN MOUTH! I don't know about anyone else, but I couldn't understand a single word Heath Ledger was saying. Gone are the days of 10 Things I Hate About You, when you were a gorgey long-haired Australian who projected your lines. Instead, you've elected to adopt an accent completely unlike your own, and close your mouth, clench your jaw and make the audience guess at your lines. At least Jake Gyllenhaal was understandable! He should be getting the Best Actor nod, not you.

Secondly, this movie is supposed to be about "two cowboys who fall in love"... I saw nothing but their selfish need for sex. There was absolutely NO chemistry between the two characters (I won't go into the lack of chemistry between the two actors because, well, neither of them are gay, so of course there wouldn't be a lot of chemistry, but I digress...) and the only emotion displayed was when a) Jake Gyllenhaal got pissed because he discovered he wouldn't be getting any gay lovin' for a few months and b) Heath Ledger starts crying when he finds his disgusting slightly bloodied shirt in Jake Gyllenhaal's closet. The emotional outburst at the end was, in my opinion, completely out of the blue.

Don't bother with this. Unless you enjoy a slow-moving, long, slightly boring movie that features completely dislikeable characters, don't bother. It's not worth the money or the time, and I personally don't understand why it's garnering such great opinions.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe

There is nothing to criticize when it comes to this movie. I know that's hard to accept, considering I love to butcher helpless films into submission, but it's the truth. I loved every minute and every aspect of this film. Other than the Lord of the Rings films, this is the best book-to-film adaptation I've ever seen.

The actors: With a movie like this, there is always the chance that one of the actors will overact and ruin the entire film, or every scene he or she is in. Every single actor or actress in this movie did an excellent job. All of the main characters are played by actors under the age of 20, the youngest being 11. Georgie Hensley, who plays Lucy, is both adorable and talented, and she does a brilliant job with what is basically the main role. It's hard to imagine that this is her first role, since she does such an amazing job. Skandar Keynes, who plays Edmund, is only 14, but he also does an excellent job, especially as the selfish sibling who rats out his brother and sisters to the White Witch for some turkish delight. Both of the older Penvensies, Susan and Peter, played by Anna Popplewell and William Moseley respectively, are excellent as well. Yeah yeah, I'm repeating myself, but they really are great for such young actors. No doubt, these kids will all be in tons of movies in the next few years.

Even the CGI characters were awesome. Apparently the crew spent half of the film's budget to create the lion Aslan. Good investment. Aslan looks more realistic than any other CGI character I've seen in any movie. And voiced by Liam Neeson, overall he's a very stunning visual effect (again, kudos to the kids for acting so well in the scenes with Aslan, considering there's really nothing there). All of the CGI characters were well-constructed, and the voices for each (including Rupert Everett and Michael Madsen) were chosen well. Major props go to the Weta Workshop people, who created all of the costumes and sets that weren't digitally created.
If you haven't seen it yet, you're missing out. This is one of the best movies I have ever seen, and I rarely give that distinction.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Being the longest book in the series, it was pretty clear that the script writers weren't going to include every single scene from the novel, unless they wanted the film to be 7 hours long. In my opinion, books rarely translate well to the big screen, with the exception of the Lord of the Rings series, mainly because they got rid of all the stupid singing, and the part with Tom Bombadil. But I digress...
Maybe I was predisposed to be disappointed since I didn't like the fourth book, but the Goblet of Fire movie just wasn't as visually stunning as the third movie. Mike Newell did an okay job, but he lacked the creativity that Alfonso Cuaron brought to the Prisoner of Azkaban. Granted, the effects were still great, but the scene with the dragon really didn't have to last that long. They could've shortened that scene and inserted the scene where Barty Crouch Junior explains how he escaped from Azkaban, because the characters are always asserting how impossible it is to escape, and the lack of explanation makes the viewer assume that escapes are commonplace.
The acting was a lot better, however. These kids are improving brilliantly, and are getting to be quite talented. But the film overall was a disappointment. Sure, there were the humourous bits, and the quintessential action scenes, but there was nothing overly unique about it. The fourth book was distinctly darker than the third, but the third movie ended up being darker in nature than the fourth one. Let's all hope the fifth movie doesn't disappoint.