Alexander
To sum it up... if you want to feel like you've lost 6 hours of your life, go see this movie. It's not that it's a terrible movie, it's just extremely long. At one point, the narrator (Anthony Hopkins) says "Alexander should have died in India.... but that was a myth" and I let out a HUGE "siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh" and Rachel and I laughed... we laughed maniacally for our brains had been turned into goo because the movie was so long. It's the sign of a bad film when you constantly check your watch to try and figure out how much longer it could possibly go on for. By the end, Rachel said "Okay Anthony Hopkins, just SHUT UP SO WE CAN GO HOME" hahahahahaa.
All in all it wasn't bad plot-wise. Though I guess you can't really screw the plot up since it's basically a Hollywood-ized biography of Alexander. The little things got to me though... like: graphically showing men stabbing horses and elephants, thank you, but I really don't want to see animals being shot... Hephaestion at the battle in India - got sliced in the femoral artery with an axe and DIDN'T DIE. Sure, ok, whatever, except he would have bled to death you idiots. What REALLY pissed me off about it was that it slightly glorified genocide and assimilation. When Alexander tells the Persians that their sons will be Greek-educated and be part of the Greek army, they're all like "Wheeeeeee! I'm SO excited for that! Praise Alexander!". Sorry, I don't believe that
To sum it up... if you want to feel like you've lost 6 hours of your life, go see this movie. It's not that it's a terrible movie, it's just extremely long. At one point, the narrator (Anthony Hopkins) says "Alexander should have died in India.... but that was a myth" and I let out a HUGE "siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh" and Rachel and I laughed... we laughed maniacally for our brains had been turned into goo because the movie was so long. It's the sign of a bad film when you constantly check your watch to try and figure out how much longer it could possibly go on for. By the end, Rachel said "Okay Anthony Hopkins, just SHUT UP SO WE CAN GO HOME" hahahahahaa.
All in all it wasn't bad plot-wise. Though I guess you can't really screw the plot up since it's basically a Hollywood-ized biography of Alexander. The little things got to me though... like: graphically showing men stabbing horses and elephants, thank you, but I really don't want to see animals being shot... Hephaestion at the battle in India - got sliced in the femoral artery with an axe and DIDN'T DIE. Sure, ok, whatever, except he would have bled to death you idiots. What REALLY pissed me off about it was that it slightly glorified genocide and assimilation. When Alexander tells the Persians that their sons will be Greek-educated and be part of the Greek army, they're all like "Wheeeeeee! I'm SO excited for that! Praise Alexander!". Sorry, I don't believe that
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